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Why we do what we do. Trapped by habit . Change is tough !


I have sent a DVD slideshow of my 4000 mile trip around part of Washington State and Oregon to some friends I have also included the jpeg's on a separate disk
To be honest I have sent them because I want to - not because they want them .
Throughout my life my mother clipped newspapers occasionally photocopying items , and sent them to me and others . I have still got a few envelopes unread though she has been dead for years . I seem to be falling into the same behaviour .
When my brother is visiting nearby I always make an effort to see him and get my wife to invite him for dinner . I organise my whole schedule to fit in with him . He rarely says thank you and does not appreciate my efforts at all .
I have thought about it and have come to realise that I actually do it for myself . It makes me feel good about myself . It truly is better to give than to receive . We have an idea or vision of how we would like to be and enjoy working towards this . we may delude ourselves that this behaviour is for others . This is formed by our early environment , particularly by our upbringing , and possibly our genes .
We try to do " the right thing " . Do as you would be done by - Christianity's golden rule.
We are trapped by this . As we get older the habits of a lifetime have enormous bearing on our behaviour . It really is hard to change . We become fixed in who we are and what we do . We become our jobs . We dream of winning the lottery to escape our hum drum existence . When we win we often go back to our old jobs and lives with little change , or worse give our old lives up and become totally miserable despite or because of all the money .
Very few , if any , of us are capable of proper impartial analysis of our own lives . We are too busy with living our lives and being ourselves to break out of the pattern and make life changing decisions . This is doubly true when things are ok and is often even true when our lives are truly awful .Battered wives often endure a lifetime of habitual abuse rather than make the necessary changes .
My plans to emigrate to the USA are almost at completion . The decision was made years ago , The logic inescapable but even I am besieged by doubts . My family are occasionally in open revolt to the Idea . I am pressing on through sheer strength of will . One thought is uppermost . I enjoy my life , being me and being a landlord property developer on the Isle of Wight , but if I do not try the move I will always regret this inaction . It does not sit with my idea of myself as a man of action . At university many students talked about taking a year out to travel before stepping on the treadmill and getting a job . Few if any actually did . I did not !
USA here I come !

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