Eulogy for Danielle Martel
Pictures and video here https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10156489065386822&type=3
Good morning, I'm Danny, father to
Danielle's Grandson Xavier. We're gathered here together to celebrate
a remarkable and wonderful woman Danielle Martel. She's been a mother
in law to me for thirty years and it gives me great honor to share
this eulogy with you. Thank you all for attending this ceremony to
celebrate the life of this very special woman.
Our Elders, our parents, our
Grandparents, their life stories weave illuminating narratives that
move and inspire us. I'd like to take you on a journey through
Danielle's life, it's a remarkable journey, and through it we get a
true measure of this amazing woman's life.
The year is 1938. Hidden away in a
small Parisian apartment a young handsome black man, a carpenter,
works tirelessly on building a wardrobe. It's to be his 'piece de
resistance', his masterpiece, his gift. He works in secret, for he
himself is a secret. He is Danielle's father Reginald. Reginald is
from Martinique, an Island colonized by the French. Reginald has
fallen in love with Danielle's mother 'Mart', a seamstress working in
the heart of Paris. The wardrobe is for her. Their relationship is a
secret, for Mart is white and Reginald is Black. Their love is
difficult to sustain in the face of the constant hostility around
them, they go out as lovers in the dark of night and remain in the
house during the day. As word spreads of this 'forbidden couple' both
are subjected to daily abuse. Mart, Danielle's mother is regularly
spat on in the street and Reginald is physically attacked frequently.
With their lives in constant danger
Reginald has no option but to flee Paris and is drafted to fight in
the Second World War, ironically on the side of the French. Mart,
Danielle's mother moves from the harsh Parisian streets to the south
of France with her young daughter, Danielle's older sister
Jacqueline.
So, on the 24th of August 1939, in the
small town of Frejus in the south of France, Mart gives birth to a
beautiful mixed-race baby girl. Danielle.
Danielle grew up embracing the
countryside sunshine and attended a catholic convent school with her
sister. Her mother Mart worked 3 jobs to support her girls. They were
always well dressed due to Mart being a seamstress. Danielle was the
wilder of the two girls and definitely the naughtiest. Having lost
many of her male friends in the Algerian war of Independence with
France and being of an adventurous nature she packed her bags at the
age of 18 and fled to England to open a new chapter in her life. This
is where her fun begun.
In London, at the birth of the swinging
sixties, Danielle was a party-goer, a real raver. She studied, learnt
English, worked in a restaurant in the Kings road, regularly serving
Celebrities like Christopher Lee and Susannah York. She held her own
in such company, she was a vibrant, rebellious woman who was giving
to all regardless of their status.
Her party days weaned and in 1962 she
gave birth to a son Xavier followed a year later by a daughter
Veronica. Their fathers were from the West Indies and couldn't adjust
to the coldness of London in the sixties, both the weather and the
people. They left once they realized that the streets were not paved
with gold.
Soon after the birth of Veronica,
Danielle was sent by Social Services to a mother and baby unit and
put under immense pressure to place both of her children into care.
Back then mixed-race children, or half-caste as they were called were
treated as abnormalities, mistakes, and automatically put up for
fostering, with few takers.
Danielle herself said that the Social
Workers kept telling her "what a shame your children aren't
white because you could have had them adopted". Despite being
alone with a baby and a toddler Danielle taped into her inner
strength and fought against all odds to keep her children. Once she'd
freed herself from their clutches she began the path of giving them
an amazing childhood.
She traveled back and forth to France
taking her young children in a double buggy for a then 20-hour
journey on buses, railways and ferries.
Her mother Mart had moved to Servon, a
small village outside Paris where she designed and built her own
house in the countryside, despite it having no plumbing, electricity
or gas and a 3-hour walk to the nearest shops, Xavier and Veronica
spent wonderful childhood days there walking through cornfields and
playing dominoes by candlelight.
Back in London Danielle trained as a
teacher whilst working nights as a mental health nurse in Springfield
Hospital. Before the days of risk assessments, once a month her
living room would be filled with an array of mental health patients
sitting having tea and playing with Veronica's toys. All were welcome
in her home. She believed that food was always to be shared, and
during the most difficult times when money was short she would cook
pancakes and invite all the children in her street to eat.
With support from friends such as
Margaret Hinchcliffe, Danielle qualified as a French teacher. She was
now fully bilingual, enjoying her chosen profession, and was able to
provide for both her children. Danielle was so proud of her 4 Grand
children and the 2 that lived in London could manipulate her to their
child-like advantage.
This is when I met her, when my son
Xavier was born. Some of my fondest memories of fatherhood were made
in her small flat on Mitcham Lane. Witnessing the joy, laughter, and
pure love between Danielle and my son helped me decide the kind of
parent I wanted to be. Yes, occasionally we had our differences back
then but I always felt her respect for me as a father, and for my
relationship with Xavier, and I valued that respect. Though her
French accent still remained so strong, at times I couldn't
understand a word. Young Xavier and his friends used to laugh
whenever she'd say "Go and empty this in the Willy bin!".
Her nurturing instinct never left her.
Soon after Veronica gave birth to our son, Danielle quietly gave her
a camera and said "You have a talent, follow it" And as we
all know, she was right!
Danielle retired at the age of 55, and
proving that age is nothing but a number, followed her dream to
travel the world on her own and to spend time with her family in
Martinique. Danielle loved travelling and spent the millennium in the
Seychelles with her family.
She used to say "the bank can take
my house away but they can't take my holidays back" Once
Danielle got her freedom pass she and my mother Murline, who was
Danielle's best friend, would be off, anywhere, anytime. Returning
with more tales of adventure.
Danielle continued to enjoy the love of
her family during a long illness. Despite being in a wheelchair she
proved herself a good table football player during family
tournaments, and could still crack a joke that'd bring the house
down. Indeed, when Veronica accompanied her to have the wheelchair
fitted Danielle was really upset. When Veronica asked her why, she
said "I want a nice motorbike, not a bloody wheelchair!"
She must have been revisiting her teenage years travelling around
France on her moped.
One of her favourite Xmas' was one
spent with Me and Xavier, at Xavier's flat. Veronica and Sebby were
in Germany visiting Uncle Xavier and his family. Xavier had spent
days preparing his flat, making it spotless for his Grandmother and
planning the menu. We collected her from her Care Home, and carried
her in her wheelchair up three flights of stairs to his first-floor
flat. We put our mathematical minds together and managed to get it
through his front door with millimeters to spare. We exchanged
carefully wrapped presents and wore silly Xmas hats. I'd prepared the
starters soup that day, full of pumpkin and dumplings a recipe given
to me by my Mother, my heart filled with pride when Danielle finished
her bowl and with a smile asked for more.
She never lost her smile. She passed
away peacefully, and appropriately, in the arms of her daughter
Veronica.
What a woman! You'd never know the
difficulties she'd been through, she carried no anger or bitterness
in her heart. Her love for life always shone through. Danielle's
values were about keeping family together, loving, forgiving, and
having fun.
Danielle had a positive impact on all
of our lives, and on behalf of the Martel family I'd like to thank
you all for sharing in hers. Au Revoir Danielle, 'Goodbye'
Pictures and video here https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10156489065386822&type=3
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