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Eulogy for Danielle Martel

Eulogy for Danielle Martel 


Good morning, I'm Danny, father to Danielle's Grandson Xavier. We're gathered here together to celebrate a remarkable and wonderful woman Danielle Martel. She's been a mother in law to me for thirty years and it gives me great honor to share this eulogy with you. Thank you all for attending this ceremony to celebrate the life of this very special woman.
Our Elders, our parents, our Grandparents, their life stories weave illuminating narratives that move and inspire us. I'd like to take you on a journey through Danielle's life, it's a remarkable journey, and through it we get a true measure of this amazing woman's life.
The year is 1938. Hidden away in a small Parisian apartment a young handsome black man, a carpenter, works tirelessly on building a wardrobe. It's to be his 'piece de resistance', his masterpiece, his gift. He works in secret, for he himself is a secret. He is Danielle's father Reginald. Reginald is from Martinique, an Island colonized by the French. Reginald has fallen in love with Danielle's mother 'Mart', a seamstress working in the heart of Paris. The wardrobe is for her. Their relationship is a secret, for Mart is white and Reginald is Black. Their love is difficult to sustain in the face of the constant hostility around them, they go out as lovers in the dark of night and remain in the house during the day. As word spreads of this 'forbidden couple' both are subjected to daily abuse. Mart, Danielle's mother is regularly spat on in the street and Reginald is physically attacked frequently.
With their lives in constant danger Reginald has no option but to flee Paris and is drafted to fight in the Second World War, ironically on the side of the French. Mart, Danielle's mother moves from the harsh Parisian streets to the south of France with her young daughter, Danielle's older sister Jacqueline.
So, on the 24th of August 1939, in the small town of Frejus in the south of France, Mart gives birth to a beautiful mixed-race baby girl. Danielle.
Danielle grew up embracing the countryside sunshine and attended a catholic convent school with her sister. Her mother Mart worked 3 jobs to support her girls. They were always well dressed due to Mart being a seamstress. Danielle was the wilder of the two girls and definitely the naughtiest. Having lost many of her male friends in the Algerian war of Independence with France and being of an adventurous nature she packed her bags at the age of 18 and fled to England to open a new chapter in her life. This is where her fun begun.
In London, at the birth of the swinging sixties, Danielle was a party-goer, a real raver. She studied, learnt English, worked in a restaurant in the Kings road, regularly serving Celebrities like Christopher Lee and Susannah York. She held her own in such company, she was a vibrant, rebellious woman who was giving to all regardless of their status.
Her party days weaned and in 1962 she gave birth to a son Xavier followed a year later by a daughter Veronica. Their fathers were from the West Indies and couldn't adjust to the coldness of London in the sixties, both the weather and the people. They left once they realized that the streets were not paved with gold.
Soon after the birth of Veronica, Danielle was sent by Social Services to a mother and baby unit and put under immense pressure to place both of her children into care. Back then mixed-race children, or half-caste as they were called were treated as abnormalities, mistakes, and automatically put up for fostering, with few takers.
Danielle herself said that the Social Workers kept telling her "what a shame your children aren't white because you could have had them adopted". Despite being alone with a baby and a toddler Danielle taped into her inner strength and fought against all odds to keep her children. Once she'd freed herself from their clutches she began the path of giving them an amazing childhood.
She traveled back and forth to France taking her young children in a double buggy for a then 20-hour journey on buses, railways and ferries.
Her mother Mart had moved to Servon, a small village outside Paris where she designed and built her own house in the countryside, despite it having no plumbing, electricity or gas and a 3-hour walk to the nearest shops, Xavier and Veronica spent wonderful childhood days there walking through cornfields and playing dominoes by candlelight.
Back in London Danielle trained as a teacher whilst working nights as a mental health nurse in Springfield Hospital. Before the days of risk assessments, once a month her living room would be filled with an array of mental health patients sitting having tea and playing with Veronica's toys. All were welcome in her home. She believed that food was always to be shared, and during the most difficult times when money was short she would cook pancakes and invite all the children in her street to eat.
With support from friends such as Margaret Hinchcliffe, Danielle qualified as a French teacher. She was now fully bilingual, enjoying her chosen profession, and was able to provide for both her children. Danielle was so proud of her 4 Grand children and the 2 that lived in London could manipulate her to their child-like advantage.
This is when I met her, when my son Xavier was born. Some of my fondest memories of fatherhood were made in her small flat on Mitcham Lane. Witnessing the joy, laughter, and pure love between Danielle and my son helped me decide the kind of parent I wanted to be. Yes, occasionally we had our differences back then but I always felt her respect for me as a father, and for my relationship with Xavier, and I valued that respect. Though her French accent still remained so strong, at times I couldn't understand a word. Young Xavier and his friends used to laugh whenever she'd say "Go and empty this in the Willy bin!".
Her nurturing instinct never left her. Soon after Veronica gave birth to our son, Danielle quietly gave her a camera and said "You have a talent, follow it" And as we all know, she was right!
Danielle retired at the age of 55, and proving that age is nothing but a number, followed her dream to travel the world on her own and to spend time with her family in Martinique. Danielle loved travelling and spent the millennium in the Seychelles with her family.
She used to say "the bank can take my house away but they can't take my holidays back" Once Danielle got her freedom pass she and my mother Murline, who was Danielle's best friend, would be off, anywhere, anytime. Returning with more tales of adventure.
Danielle continued to enjoy the love of her family during a long illness. Despite being in a wheelchair she proved herself a good table football player during family tournaments, and could still crack a joke that'd bring the house down. Indeed, when Veronica accompanied her to have the wheelchair fitted Danielle was really upset. When Veronica asked her why, she said "I want a nice motorbike, not a bloody wheelchair!" She must have been revisiting her teenage years travelling around France on her moped.
One of her favourite Xmas' was one spent with Me and Xavier, at Xavier's flat. Veronica and Sebby were in Germany visiting Uncle Xavier and his family. Xavier had spent days preparing his flat, making it spotless for his Grandmother and planning the menu. We collected her from her Care Home, and carried her in her wheelchair up three flights of stairs to his first-floor flat. We put our mathematical minds together and managed to get it through his front door with millimeters to spare. We exchanged carefully wrapped presents and wore silly Xmas hats. I'd prepared the starters soup that day, full of pumpkin and dumplings a recipe given to me by my Mother, my heart filled with pride when Danielle finished her bowl and with a smile asked for more.
She never lost her smile. She passed away peacefully, and appropriately, in the arms of her daughter Veronica.
What a woman! You'd never know the difficulties she'd been through, she carried no anger or bitterness in her heart. Her love for life always shone through. Danielle's values were about keeping family together, loving, forgiving, and having fun.
Danielle had a positive impact on all of our lives, and on behalf of the Martel family I'd like to thank you all for sharing in hers. Au Revoir Danielle, 'Goodbye' 

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